A Depressing Morning

Today started as a depressingly lazy Sunday. I woke with the feeling that I’m not doing anything with my life (which really can put a damper on one’s mood).

The problem is I don’t see anything that’s wrong with me at the current time. Sure, the lack of a job is pretty disheartening, but it’s not the end of the world. I think my biggest problem is I’m still sad about it being five months since I’ve seen my boyfriend. Long-distance relationships suck.

College is a really big bummer, too. Financial aid gave me the short end of the stick by conveniently losing one of the forms I had to submit back in the fall and never telling me about it. Plus, the only reason why I’m staying in school right now is to defer the loans from Purdue.

Everyone always asks me what I want to do with my life, and the same response I give every single time is that I want to be a flight instructor. Then they proceed to ask what college degree I need in order to achieve that goal. After I’m done laughing, I loudly exclaim “none!” That’s what ticks me off about the whole thing – I’m spending money to save money.

I would love nothing more than to take all the money spent on college tuition and textbooks, and put it toward my IFR rating. Flying used to be my way of leaving the world behind and pretended nothing existed except fuel gauges and landing strips. Now it seems like the world is doing everything it can to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. And that sucks.

State of the status update…

“I don’t remember the last time I wrote in here.”

It seems a fair amount of my blog posts begin with that sentence.  Often times I wonder why I stop writing in here.  There’s always something on my mind and writing is one of my strongest abilities.  Then again, there are other times when I start writing in here because I have nothing to do.

My other blog for my temporary time here at Purdue is completely stale. I could probably write in it until my fingers fell off.  However, if I’m not getting any readership whatsoever, it makes the process a little less fun.

Things are going a little weirdly here in Indiana.  I’ve been doing a lot of thinking (always a problem for me :P) and have settled on the fact that I will not be able to afford a full four year service here at Purdue.  If I try to do so I’ll leave here with well over $150,000 in debt.  There are numerous factors besides money that are also leading me to consider dashing out of here with my associate’s degree and numerous pilot ratings and endorsements.

Brady and I have been talking about this to no end.  There isn’t a day that goes by where the subject doesn’t come up, even if only for a few minutes.  He wants to do ATC on the east coast, preferably in the Northeast.  Why?  He loves it back there and he wants me to be near my family.  If there’s a specific part of the U.S. where the vast majority of my family is located, it’s in New England.  Smart boy.  Hehe.

New Hampshire is the state of choice for both of us.  He likes the idea of trying to work for either Manchester Airport or Boston’s Logan Intl.  The possibilities for a job with air traffic control are endless, but the main trick is finding a place that’s actually looking to hire someone.  My reason for liking NH is the fact that it has both mountains AND the ocean, and I have a lot of opportunities myself for either finishing up my schooling or diving right into the aviation world full-time.  All of my connections are back that way and I’m sure I’d have no problem finding a job.

I guess the reason why this idea is coming up is solely based on money (and the limitations of it thereof).  Growing up means making big decisions for yourself, and my biggest one so far was leaving New York behind to come out here.  The next big one might be leaving here and walking down a new road with an inevitable fork in it.  Either way I know I’ve got the support of a ton of people, and that’s what matters the most.

Strange blog posting session aside, I’m going to wrap this up and get back to reading.  Thinking about writing another post sometime later this week on religious tolerance as a result of an experience I had earlier in the week.  Leave it to some people here at Purdue to shove a bible in someone’s face….

Till then,

Me.

What to write when you don’t know what to write.

That’s something I’ve been trying to figure out for a long time.  Unfortunately I have yet to come up with the answer.  Till then, you have to deal with endless ramblings of a slightly different caliber.

The ten days since my last post has brought little excitement, save for this weekend.  I’m currently sitting on my precalc notebook and textbook, which are strategically placed atop my chair (for whatever reason I know not of).  I’m also staring at my mess of a desk, half expecting it to clean and organize itself.  So far, no good.

I went down to Vassar College with my aunt and grandmother to see my cousin, a senior, play rugby on Saturday.  A beautiful day for the sport, indeed.  I enjoyed watching the game very much… even convinced my cousin to put in a good word to the rugby coach if I was interested in applying to Vassar in the coming months (which I intend to do).  I have no intention of retaking the SAT test at all, so I suppose I’ll need all the help I can get if I plan on applying to these higher-end schools.

I’m still a bit concerned about college.  I no longer have the anxiety I did before about the regents exams… I learned Wednesday that I need not take the chemistry regents at all because all that is required is three science credits and two regents exams.  So that helps.  A lot.

I thought a lot about Vassar throughout last night and today.  The campus is beautiful, the library is breathtaking, and I could really see myself attending the college for four years and enjoying myself in the process.  I’m still considering majoring in photography or writing.  I’d like to be able to fly corporate jets such as Citations or Gulfstreams for my main career while having something minor to fall back on.  Can only focus on what I’m good at, I suppose.

I should probably pay less attention to writing in here and more attention to the two power points I’m supposed to be making.  One on McCain and his economic policies and another one on quantum mechanics.

Politics = good… physics = not so good.

Such is life.

New photography website….

This post is for the intention of directing anyone who visits to my new photography site, which is here.

It’s a smash, most definitely. If you’re using stumbleupon, visit all the images and give them a thumbs up? This pilot is in desperate need of some flying money. Heh heh.

Guess I’ve got a bit of catching up to do…

Hey hey… October isn’t too long… only three months. Haha.

A bit long overdue, I suppose. No worries, this blog hasn’t missed much. Then again, maybe it has.

I know, bullets! That’ll cut the lack of organization down to nearly nil. Perfect idea. Let us commence!

  • Soloed on 11/26/07 in N6463Q… a bit nerve wracking on the first takeoff, but once I got over the fact that no one else was there in the plane and it was just me, I was pretty cool with it. By the third landing I was comfortable enough to go out of the pattern to make time for a Cherokee that was landing on a different runway. Got a lot of pats on the back from the Citation pilots on the ground after that. Heh heh.
  • Got my drivers license on 12/14. Had to take the road test in Grannie’s car (2001 Buick Century… otherwise known as the “grandma car”) the day after a major snowstorm here in upstate New York. Unfortunately Hudson is well-known for their unbelievably narrow roads and bad drivers, and it didn’t help that the car itself happens to be a bit on the wide side. Even though the roads were about 15 feet wide, the guy made me do the three-point nonetheless, and though I asked if getting friendly with the nearest snowbank would cost me anything, he praised me on “quite possibly the best three-point turn performed by someone in these conditions”. License please? Thank you. Heh heh.
  • Christmas came, and Christmas went. Same with the New Year. Nothing at all that was really too exciting… or that I can remember at least.

Guess that’s about it for bullet material. The only interesting things that have been going on lately are random events here and there and the occasional flying lesson.

Though there is one thing that I’ve failed to mention, which is my New Years Resolution (if you can actually call it a “resolution”). Over the Christmas break my pre-AP English class had to do a research project on the poet of our choice. For some reason I had a fascination with Carl Sandburg’s name and his resemblance to Peter Graves when he played Captain Oveur in “Airplane!”, so naturally I chose him. Nope, had no previous knowledge of his work… just picked him because he looked like Peter Graves. Pathetic, I know.

After going to the library and taking out about fifty books on this Sandburg fellow, I realized just how awesome he was. I spent more time reading his partial autobiography than writing the actual report itself, and it was about 15 hours before it was due that I realized I should probably put the book down and write eight pages of words. Trust me… writing an eight page paper on someone you’re actually interested in really isn’t that hard to do. It’s writing an eight page paper on something you don’t give a damn about that really gets you. Or me, at least.

Anyway, I’ve always been a bit of a poet myself, so I was glad that I actually had something in common with Mr. Sandburg. Made things a lot easier as far as the project went. But reading about how he published his poetry inspired me… so I went to the store back in the earlier part of the month and bought a really nice book-like notebook. My resolution is to keep it handy all the time to write whatever poetry might come to mind at the given time and edit it later… then when the “book” is about half full, I’m going to pick and choose the best ones and send them off. Who knows… maybe something will arise from it. That’d be pretty cool.

I was thinking, too, that I might start writing some of them on here… maybe the grand amount of zero people who read this might comment on them and be like “Wow, this sucks” or “Hahah”. Naah, tell you what… I’ll put the link to the “AllPoetry” website over on the side bar to the right. That has pretty much everything in it. Everything that’s somewhat decent, at least. Heh heh.

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled on enough for one post. I have the rest of the day off today because it was midterm/regents week at school, and my exam was at 8 this morning. Early start to the weekend, I guess.