A Depressing Morning

Today started as a depressingly lazy Sunday. I woke with the feeling that I’m not doing anything with my life (which really can put a damper on one’s mood).

The problem is I don’t see anything that’s wrong with me at the current time. Sure, the lack of a job is pretty disheartening, but it’s not the end of the world. I think my biggest problem is I’m still sad about it being five months since I’ve seen my boyfriend. Long-distance relationships suck.

College is a really big bummer, too. Financial aid gave me the short end of the stick by conveniently losing one of the forms I had to submit back in the fall and never telling me about it. Plus, the only reason why I’m staying in school right now is to defer the loans from Purdue.

Everyone always asks me what I want to do with my life, and the same response I give every single time is that I want to be a flight instructor. Then they proceed to ask what college degree I need in order to achieve that goal. After I’m done laughing, I loudly exclaim “none!” That’s what ticks me off about the whole thing – I’m spending money to save money.

I would love nothing more than to take all the money spent on college tuition and textbooks, and put it toward my IFR rating. Flying used to be my way of leaving the world behind and pretended nothing existed except fuel gauges and landing strips. Now it seems like the world is doing everything it can to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. And that sucks.

State of the status update…

“I don’t remember the last time I wrote in here.”

It seems a fair amount of my blog posts begin with that sentence.  Often times I wonder why I stop writing in here.  There’s always something on my mind and writing is one of my strongest abilities.  Then again, there are other times when I start writing in here because I have nothing to do.

My other blog for my temporary time here at Purdue is completely stale. I could probably write in it until my fingers fell off.  However, if I’m not getting any readership whatsoever, it makes the process a little less fun.

Things are going a little weirdly here in Indiana.  I’ve been doing a lot of thinking (always a problem for me :P) and have settled on the fact that I will not be able to afford a full four year service here at Purdue.  If I try to do so I’ll leave here with well over $150,000 in debt.  There are numerous factors besides money that are also leading me to consider dashing out of here with my associate’s degree and numerous pilot ratings and endorsements.

Brady and I have been talking about this to no end.  There isn’t a day that goes by where the subject doesn’t come up, even if only for a few minutes.  He wants to do ATC on the east coast, preferably in the Northeast.  Why?  He loves it back there and he wants me to be near my family.  If there’s a specific part of the U.S. where the vast majority of my family is located, it’s in New England.  Smart boy.  Hehe.

New Hampshire is the state of choice for both of us.  He likes the idea of trying to work for either Manchester Airport or Boston’s Logan Intl.  The possibilities for a job with air traffic control are endless, but the main trick is finding a place that’s actually looking to hire someone.  My reason for liking NH is the fact that it has both mountains AND the ocean, and I have a lot of opportunities myself for either finishing up my schooling or diving right into the aviation world full-time.  All of my connections are back that way and I’m sure I’d have no problem finding a job.

I guess the reason why this idea is coming up is solely based on money (and the limitations of it thereof).  Growing up means making big decisions for yourself, and my biggest one so far was leaving New York behind to come out here.  The next big one might be leaving here and walking down a new road with an inevitable fork in it.  Either way I know I’ve got the support of a ton of people, and that’s what matters the most.

Strange blog posting session aside, I’m going to wrap this up and get back to reading.  Thinking about writing another post sometime later this week on religious tolerance as a result of an experience I had earlier in the week.  Leave it to some people here at Purdue to shove a bible in someone’s face….

Till then,

Me.